Five words. Just five words. How can something so small inspire a unique feeling of anticipation, contempt and dread? No easy task, you might think.
But a sub-editor at the Telegraph managed it today with the headline "Jeremy Clarkson joins Burqa debate." Although I hated myself for doing it, I had to read on.
Now the burqa debate is, as I needn't remind my literate, well-informed and overwhelmingly liberal audience, a sensitive issue - exquisitely so, one might say. With debate raging in France about banning the Muslim dress altogether, and one Tory MP refusing to meet with constituents who have the affrontery to turn up to his surgeries wearing one, passions are running high.
So what does Britain's leading social commentator have to say on the subject? The Telegraph quotes him on Sunday's Top Gear as stating (after Richard Hammond suggested that the burqa could dissuade men from ogling women as they drive),
“No, no, no. Honestly, the burqa doesn't work. I was in a cab in Piccadilly the other day when a woman in a full burqa crossing the road in front of me tripped over the pavement, went head over heels and up it came, red g-string and stockings. I promise that happened. The taxi driver will back me up on that.”
So that's that, then. And not sleazy at all, from the 50-year old jeans-wearing fool. It makes every penny of my license fee seem worthwhile.